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➢ 003 [video]
In the 19 days, 22 hours, 11 minutes, and 8 seconds since my arrival [plus the time delay between the start and uploading of this video], I have come across something very interesting through conversations with fellow Wardens and Inmates:
While there are a surprising many who have never heard of the Green Lantern Corps, even more surprising is the number of individuals who claim to fight for a similar cause. I have heard words such as 'vigilantism' and 'heroism' used often, along with the concept of fighting against the law in order to do what is right.
This appears to be a contradictory statement, however, and I wonder if I my auditory senses were malfunctioning or simply did not process the words correctly.
[She pauses, allowing this much to absorb before leading into her question.]
I am curious--are there many aboard who are familiar with Heroes of your respective worlds? And what do you believe makes them Heroes?
While there are a surprising many who have never heard of the Green Lantern Corps, even more surprising is the number of individuals who claim to fight for a similar cause. I have heard words such as 'vigilantism' and 'heroism' used often, along with the concept of fighting against the law in order to do what is right.
This appears to be a contradictory statement, however, and I wonder if I my auditory senses were malfunctioning or simply did not process the words correctly.
[She pauses, allowing this much to absorb before leading into her question.]
I am curious--are there many aboard who are familiar with Heroes of your respective worlds? And what do you believe makes them Heroes?
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He is very thorough in his assignment.
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[Aya speak for, "How are you feeling?"]
I was able to advise on the matter of treatment, but as I lack the proper pharmaceutical clearance, had to refer you to one who does. However, I am still curious.
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Bluntly put, I have to talk myself out of suicide at least a few times a day.
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What is this Catch-22?
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[The literary reference is lost to her, but the definition fully registers.]
With respect, I do not see how such a thing is impossible. You only believe it to be because of your current mindset, but the probability for change remains.
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I could count the individuals here who actually care enough to be called good people on the fingers of one hand. Most of you would never have rescued me from my father, because you just don't care about anyone outside your circle of friends. Even people who claim to be heroes here don't really care. They just want me to shut up about my problems and disappear.
Having faith in people requires people to be worthy of that faith. And ninety five percent of them just aren't. I didn't decide to lose faith. I didn't make up what was done to me. I got robbed of my innocence, abused, used as cannon fodder, killed, and then I came here and got hurt and exploited more. Basically my leaving here would require people to start acting decent and trustworthy, and that is never going to happen.
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[There were some who shunned, betrayed, and even attempted to violate her back home...but Aya believed too strongly in her friends and allies to lose faith.]
You said ninety-five percent. What of the other five percent?
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That five percent are the exceptions to a very ugly rule.
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Hendricks seems all right. Steph was all right. They both seem to be in that five percent. I've just been betrayed so many times by people I thought were all right, or had them just...disappear.
I'm not accusing much of anyone being actually evil or anything like that. Except the Admiral, of course. But trusting people doesn't come naturally at all anymore.
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Perhaps it would ease your mind if you focused on those you believe you can trust. As you said, there is still the five percent.
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The reason I went on meds in the first place is that I have started feeling hopeless and...worse, even when I logically know that it's not all horrible. I'm doing everything I can to combat the issue. Nobody should have to deal with this, not me or the people around me.
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It is a good thing, Wanda, and shows you are a good person.
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